Find your shirt

Shop | most popular T-shirt
Tearful Overreaction :: That's My Quarterback

bookmark & share |tell a friend

"T-shirt or not, that girl has the body to look good in anything. Is it me or does that shirt make her boobs look fat?" -Jeff Sams, father of Alexis Vain talking about his daughter

News | tshirtalerts.com exclusive
'Bizarre Flasher' Has Police On Alert
by Alexis Vain
tell a friend about this site


Freddy Esposito was walking his dog early Monday morning when he was unexpectedly approached from behind by a man in a dark trench coat.

"I think he saw my long hair pulled back in a ponytail and thought I was a woman," Esposito said. "He runs to get out in front of me and opens up his trench coat. I admit I screamed like a girl but only because he scared me and I think he screamed right back at me like a girl because he was surprised I wasn't one."

Esposito said the man ran west on Daring Street as he gave chase with his dog.

"I was right behind that creep," Esposito said. "I would have easily caught him but I slipped in some dootie my dog left around the corner. And unfortunately Treasure broke off her chase to take another dump. The poor dog was crapping all over the place that day."

This is the ninth reported encounter residents have had over the past two weeks in their quiet but wealthy community with a man police are calling the "bizarre flasher." The flasher has not been nude during any of these strange run-ins. Instead, for some reason he's showing off a T-shirt he has on underneath his trench coat when he opens it up.

"I couldn't make out what was on the T-shirt because it was real quick," said Judy Garland, one of the first people to alert police about the flasher. "I've had nightmares every night since. I honestly can not go into a department store and look at a mannequin in a trench coat without shaking. I'm extremely wobbly on my feet."

The flasher, however, is apparently quick on his feet.

During his most recent encounter with a woman on Green Lane, he somehow managed to elude a bevy of officers called to the scene from five separate police departments. Police tried using helicopters, K-9 units, spotlights and infrared detectors all to no avail in their search for the suspect.

"We take these types of incidents very seriously and will continue to conduct a complete investigation," Hillcrest High police spokesman Tim Sweeney said. "This individual is terrorizing our citizens. He could very easily walk up to some unsuspecting grandmother and literally scare her to death. My grandmother died after flipping the channels and accidentally seeing two women kissing on TV. Her heart just couldn't take it. This is a fragile situation. "

Although Esposito tried to capture the suspect before falling in his dog's mess, Sweeney said that was the wrong response. He warned residents not to approach the person in an attempt to apprehend him.

"This is a potentially dangerous situation," he said. "Esposito wasn't injured during his fall but he easily could have shattered his bones. He called us after he fell, of course, but he should have notified us sooner. We actually arrived on the scene with a K-9 but our dog was so involved with sniffing Esposito's dog that he lost interest in the flasher."

Police said the suspect is a white male with shaggy hair. He sports a dark trench coat with a dark T-shirt underneath. Officials have yet to reveal what they believe his motives are.

"I'll tell you something. We'd like to find out what the hell is on that T-shirt," an officer speaking on the condition of anonymity said. "That's bugging us more than anything. I mean what is so special about it that he has to show it off to everyone he meets. It's very unsettling."

"We know he's taunting us," added Sweeney, "but mark my words he will be caught. This fancy flasher person will be found. And when I get my hands on him I'm going to personally rip that damn T-shirt off of him so he can never flash another person in this community again. He can roll around naked with his cell mates for all I care but I promise he won't flash another person while wearing a T-shirt. It's despicable what he's doing. Just plain despicable."

shirtalerts.com - alexis vain

Always in love with the camera, reporter Alexis Vain has been on the staff of tshirtalerts.com since its inception.

Vain's drop-dead gorgeous looks helped her land this gig. While she admits she has no reporting background or journalistic skills, she strongly believes any reporter can impress her audience by speaking haltingly and in dramatic tones.

Vain says her role model would include her twin sister if she had one. She wakes up every morning at 3 a.m. so she can run a brush through her hair about 1,000 times.

She says she would like to one day have children so she can pass on her good looks.

Did you know?

In high school Vain was voted Most Likely to Throw Herself a Surprise Party & Show Up Fashionably Late
.


© although stuff created & written for this site is ours, you may keep your first born.